There are times where I think I’m more of an old man than a young woman. I can be very set in my ways and often display a ridiculous level of brand loyalty. For example, I’ve been using Johnson’s Baby Shampoo since my mother first washed my hair (though, as an adult, I’ve upgraded to the lavender), and I want all pickles in the world to taste like Ba-Tampte Half-Sours.
Sometimes though, and I hate to break it to you, old set-in-their-ways men like the kind I often think I am — sometimes we stray. The flip of a skirt or the curl of a ponytail catches our eyes, and before we know it we’re goners.
I’m normally a hard-cheese kinda gal (or old man, I suppose) so when a cheesemonger at Formaggio passed me a small plastic tasting spoon of this soft cow’s milk tomme, I wasn’t prepared for my body’s reaction. My eyes popped open, then slit shut in sheer pleasure. I think I even moaned.
This was all highly unusual behavior, and I knew right then and there, in front of the charcuterie case, that this cheese was coming home with me.
Don’t be fooled by Tomme Crayeuse’s vaguely masculine-sounding name; this cheese is, as they say, all woman. And she’s not messing around with flirting or any sort of coquettish behavior. She’s the type that — in the movies, anyway — takes hold of men by their neckties and leads them out of a crowded room to one that is far more intimate.
Texturally, Tomme Crayeuse is soft and creamy; if left at room temperature, it will eventually spill out of itself, exactly like a woman’s breasts will swell up over a corset. I’m telling you, this is a sexy cheese, and one that tastes bold and rich and creamy, with a teasingly brief hint of citrus. It’s absolutely amazing smeared liberally across a crusty baguette, and eaten on the sofa with your bare feet in the lap of a person you love. In an ideal situation, you’d also have a bottle of wine nearby too, but it’s surprisingly not necessary. All you really need is cheese.