Here I am now, at home. I love traveling, and I love going places, and even though I’ve been to Asia more times than I can count, each trip is still amazing and fun and exciting. That said, I’m glad to be home, sitting on my pouf with my laptop while Bethenny Ever After… is on On-Demand. (Don’t judge.)
I do admittedly feel that clichéd thing about time fly fly flying but that’s how the trip felt for me: it went by so fast and intense that it’s almost hard to imagine the details of it at all. I mean, we were in Boracay a week ago, perspiring and getting absolutely gnawed to death by mosquitoes, and now it’s a bit chilly in my apartment and something like 57° outside and sunny, but in a way that makes you want to sit in it as opposed to hide from it, which is what it was certainly like in Asia, particularly for the easily-sunburned Keith.
Speaking of Keith… what a lovely man, what an outstanding individual. I’ve been sick as a pike since Tuesday and he’s been handling it (read: me) incredibly well. I arrived in Hong Kong on Monday with a tickle in my throat, and by the time Tuesday rolled around I had run out of medicine and was taking these Chinese herbal pills called Zomoxyl, which smelled like nothing else I have ever experienced. It had ingredients in it such as herba androgrphitis (40%), herba taraxaci (20%), herba violae (20%), radix scutellarine (10%) and glycyrrhiza uralensis (10%). The best part was the little English-and-Cantonese write-up that came inside. I would have scanned it, but it was just too ridiculous and it’s much if I just tell you about it. Let’s just say that there was a bald eagle, with a waving-in-the-wind American flag behind it, and a star-bedazzled olive branch framing the whole thing. Here are some highlights of what Zomoxyl supposedly treats:
- upper respiratory tract infections like otitis media;
- lower respiratory tract infections like lung abscess, empyema and bronchiectasis;
- dental infections;
- skin and soft tissue infections like cellulites and impetigo;
- genitourinary (?!) tract infections like pyelonephritis, cystitis, bacteriuria, acute prostatitis and gonorrhoea;
- bone and joint infections like ostemyelitis;
- and “severe systemic infections” like gynaecological infections, pureperal sepsis, septicaemia, peritonitis, intra-abdominal spesis, menigitis, typhoid and paratyphoid fever.
I kept all the spelling from Zomoxyl sheet as is.
I should never get sick again after fourteen of those capsules, instead of coughing my way across Causeway Bay and Tsim Sha Tsui and Victoria Harbour and spitting up funky chartreuse phlegm and trying to walk around in crazy heat and humidity with a congested heavy head that felt like it was slowly going to cave in. And when I say crazy heat and humidity, I mean the kind where standing still outdoors makes sweat drip down your boobs and your back. I can’t figure out which is worse, sweat dripping down the front or the back, when neither is preferable.
What I should do now is some laundry and make a grocery list for my empty home, but what I really want to do is take a nap. More later, I suppose.
Oh, and the vomiting — I’ve been vomiting since Wednesday. I stayed in bed until noon while Keith bought some tea and stocked up on table tennis gear, then vomited up my Michelin-starred lunch, my water the next morning at the hotel and at the airport, and then who-knows-what on the plane several times and then more at JFK… Why couldn’t I have gotten sick in Manila, when I was almost always surrounded by a surgeon, a pediatrician and a med student, instead of by Chinese pharmacists with whom communication was a true adventure? This eagle-loving, USA-emblazoned Zomoxyl better clear up everything that ever has or ever will be wrong with me medically ever.
And now, laundry!